-This is My Suicide-

I always thought that when I was in college, I would at least be happier than I was in school or when I wasn't doing anything at all 3 months in college... and I feel as depressed and suicidal as I was when I was diagnosed if not, worse I was already slightly better towards the road to recovery I was improving when I left school and now I'm feel like I'm going back to how I started out right at the beginning of my diagnosis I'm starting to see the less likeliness of a happier life Seeing more unfairness in the world Honestly, I don't think I'll get lucky I think I'd be having to work till I bleed to make ends meet and not having time to breathe Isn't that how life is coming to nowadays? I just wish my parents didn't have to go through all this

I dunno if I should continue and enjoy life for a better future when I dunno how long I'll have and how far I'll get. With all these natural disasters... do I even have time to enjoy the great things of the world, invest in hobbies and such? Can I even plan what activities I want to do when I am done with my studies and see the world? Do I still have enough time for that? Do I still have time to learn up some skills or visit the places I can only dream of? Or will my life end before I get a chance