-This is My Suicide-

I've been reading this book "The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" by Ted Zeff, PH.D. I've found out more about myself as a HSP From Chapter 6: Harmonious Relationships for the HSP, - Forgiveness: The Key to Inner Peace "Sometimes HSPs who have been shamed as children don't want to let go of their emotional pain because they have become so attached and used to it. Remember when your out of balance, you tend to crave more emotional pain,......" I finally understand why when I get better I almost don't want it. It's like I've grown attached to it and I feel like a part of me is missing. When I suppossedly feel better I still have suicidal toughts and I'm attracted to negative things like alcohol and wanting to abuse it. I just want to make myself worse and I want to cut myself again. I just feel somethings wrong since I've stopped cutting last Oct. Wonder how my family is gonna react when I hurt myself again...