Skip to main content

I'm tired

I'm tired of living
Feeling so lost
making decisions
not knowing where to go
all these uncertainties
I don't like myself
I hate being so talent-less
so stale, so boring
nothing exciting happens
I just to get over it

I started cutting again
I can't resist it any longer
I just didn't feel okay anymore
I felt strangely happy when i did
I love the feeling of the blade
the blood flowing out of my skin
the soreness and redness on my skin
the slight pain I have there
Feels so good
It actually makes me smile
I'm strangely proud of the damage
It's therapeutic

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Well, Hello again....

It's been years since I wrote anything. I decided to stop writing because I didn't want to have to rethink the thoughts and go through all the emotion again. Lately my psychologist suggested that I should start writing again. So here I am. Short summary of what happened: I finished Secondary school, I'm glad I left and it's over. It was very hard for me there, even when I got diagnosed some teachers taught I could one day just get over my depression. Here I am, 21, in college, still suicidal, still need to take regular anti-depressants and mood stabilisers. However I think I'm the most "stable" condition I've ever been. I like college but I do struggle in coping, unfortunately more than others. Also I have problems looking for interest. My psychiatrist and psychologist both said it's best if I have hobbies. It's hard because I stared getting depressed slowly when I was 9 and slowly lost interest in many thing. I've only been fixated ab...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries

Feelings

Emotions, I sometimes wish i never had them so uncontrollable so destructible You're not here I try hard to let go You're burned in my memory I can never forget your smile your laugh the times spent together but all this I have kept to myself for I know you can never feel the same way about me For my feelings for you is not natural is not right in society is not accepted and for a fact that you are not like me a sinner by existence You can never feel the same way i do For you are normal and I am not I miss you so I feel so torn thinking about you I know we can never be I know it stupid to even dream I want to forget you but i can't I cherish the time we spent together even if i could never express myself and show you my real feelings because I didn't want to ruin the friendship we already have Your beautiful and strong I need you but I can never tell you Now that you're far away I feel more and more broken inside I wanna hold you and touch your face My heart screams...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries

Papa Roach - Lifeline

When I was a boy I didn't care about a thing It was me and this world and a broken dream I was blaming myself For all that was going wrong I was way out there On the wrong side of town And the ones that I loved I started pushing them out Then I realized That it was all my fault I've been looking for a lifeline For what seems like a lifetime I'm drowning in the pain Breaking down again Looking for a lifeline So I put out my hand And I asked for some help We tore down the walls I built around myself I was struck by the light And I fell to the ground I've been looking for a lifeline For what seems like a lifetime I'm drowning in the pain Breaking down again Looking for a lifeline Is there anybody out there? Can you pull me from this ocean of despair? I'm drowning in the pain Breaking down again Looking for a lifeline You know a heart of gold Wont take you all the way And in a world so cold Its hard to keep the faith I'm never gonna fade away! Yeah! I've bee...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries