Skip to main content

Eternal Sleep

How miserable I am
I feel so pathetic and lame
And it's all my own fault
and now it has become my fate
I feel like a disappointment to the people around me
I don't feel ready to face the real world
I feel to broken and weak to face the harshness
I wouldn't survive, it will kill me in a slow torturous way
It;s hard to make myself a better person
old habits kick in
pain is... painful
it just adds on to the pain
it;s hard to just move forward when you have a bolder chained to you
I just want everything to end now
I want to rest in eternal sleep
no worries, no anything, just silence and peace
no thoughts, no physical, no emotion
just rest and peace
no more of life and the world

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Well, Hello again....

It's been years since I wrote anything. I decided to stop writing because I didn't want to have to rethink the thoughts and go through all the emotion again. Lately my psychologist suggested that I should start writing again. So here I am. Short summary of what happened: I finished Secondary school, I'm glad I left and it's over. It was very hard for me there, even when I got diagnosed some teachers taught I could one day just get over my depression. Here I am, 21, in college, still suicidal, still need to take regular anti-depressants and mood stabilisers. However I think I'm the most "stable" condition I've ever been. I like college but I do struggle in coping, unfortunately more than others. Also I have problems looking for interest. My psychiatrist and psychologist both said it's best if I have hobbies. It's hard because I stared getting depressed slowly when I was 9 and slowly lost interest in many thing. I've only been fixated ab...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries

Feelings

Emotions, I sometimes wish i never had them so uncontrollable so destructible You're not here I try hard to let go You're burned in my memory I can never forget your smile your laugh the times spent together but all this I have kept to myself for I know you can never feel the same way about me For my feelings for you is not natural is not right in society is not accepted and for a fact that you are not like me a sinner by existence You can never feel the same way i do For you are normal and I am not I miss you so I feel so torn thinking about you I know we can never be I know it stupid to even dream I want to forget you but i can't I cherish the time we spent together even if i could never express myself and show you my real feelings because I didn't want to ruin the friendship we already have Your beautiful and strong I need you but I can never tell you Now that you're far away I feel more and more broken inside I wanna hold you and touch your face My heart screams...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries

Papa Roach - Lifeline

When I was a boy I didn't care about a thing It was me and this world and a broken dream I was blaming myself For all that was going wrong I was way out there On the wrong side of town And the ones that I loved I started pushing them out Then I realized That it was all my fault I've been looking for a lifeline For what seems like a lifetime I'm drowning in the pain Breaking down again Looking for a lifeline So I put out my hand And I asked for some help We tore down the walls I built around myself I was struck by the light And I fell to the ground I've been looking for a lifeline For what seems like a lifetime I'm drowning in the pain Breaking down again Looking for a lifeline Is there anybody out there? Can you pull me from this ocean of despair? I'm drowning in the pain Breaking down again Looking for a lifeline You know a heart of gold Wont take you all the way And in a world so cold Its hard to keep the faith I'm never gonna fade away! Yeah! I've bee...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries