Skip to main content

Hell unleashes itself

Things have not been going to well in my family
so much crisis
so much pain
Each semester just keeps getting harder
I'm bound with stress and tiredness
I seem to be the only one
Everyone is coping fine
I can't handle anything without stressing
I don't know how to live
If I were in another country
I would be doomed
If I were to go out and work
I can't even start to imagine
how worked up I'd be
I'm such a pathetic weakling
I feel like shit
and I can't seem to take anything
without feeling anxious
I don't feel like I'm cut out for any of this
I feel so weird
I'm a compulsive quitter
I never have confidence in myself
I don't see how
I suck at everything I do
Seeing other people being good at what they do
It doesn't inspire me or anything
It just demotivates me
making me feel so useless and hopeless
Can't my life just end here?
I don't want to see the world changing
I don't want to go through any more suffering
I don't want to be so tired
I've had enough of it
This is just to much for me too take
I can only withstand so much
and it's weaker that everyone else
Everyone would not understand why
They can cope with their lives
I can't even cope with life itself
and the ways of the world

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Well, Hello again....

It's been years since I wrote anything. I decided to stop writing because I didn't want to have to rethink the thoughts and go through all the emotion again. Lately my psychologist suggested that I should start writing again. So here I am. Short summary of what happened: I finished Secondary school, I'm glad I left and it's over. It was very hard for me there, even when I got diagnosed some teachers taught I could one day just get over my depression. Here I am, 21, in college, still suicidal, still need to take regular anti-depressants and mood stabilisers. However I think I'm the most "stable" condition I've ever been. I like college but I do struggle in coping, unfortunately more than others. Also I have problems looking for interest. My psychiatrist and psychologist both said it's best if I have hobbies. It's hard because I stared getting depressed slowly when I was 9 and slowly lost interest in many thing. I've only been fixated ab...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries

Feelings

Emotions, I sometimes wish i never had them so uncontrollable so destructible You're not here I try hard to let go You're burned in my memory I can never forget your smile your laugh the times spent together but all this I have kept to myself for I know you can never feel the same way about me For my feelings for you is not natural is not right in society is not accepted and for a fact that you are not like me a sinner by existence You can never feel the same way i do For you are normal and I am not I miss you so I feel so torn thinking about you I know we can never be I know it stupid to even dream I want to forget you but i can't I cherish the time we spent together even if i could never express myself and show you my real feelings because I didn't want to ruin the friendship we already have Your beautiful and strong I need you but I can never tell you Now that you're far away I feel more and more broken inside I wanna hold you and touch your face My heart screams...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries

Tokio Hotel - Monsoon

I'm staring at a broken door There's nothing left here anymore My room is cold It's making me insane I've been waiting here so long But now the moment seems to've come, I see the dark clouds coming up again. Running through the monsoon Beyond the world, To the end of time, Where the rain won't hurt Fighting the storm, Into the blue, And when I lose myself I think of you, Together we'll be running somewhere new Through the monsoon. Just me and you A half moon's fading from my sight I see a vision in its light But now it's gone and left me so alone I know I have to find you now Can hear your name, I don't know how Why can't we make this darkness feel like home? Running through the monsoon Beyond the world To the end of time Where the rain won't hurt Fighting the storm Into the blue And when I lose myself I think of you Together we'll be running somewhere new And nothing can hold me back from you Through the monsoon Hey! Hey! I'm fig...
Post a Comment
Previous Entries