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I hate myself

I hate myself
I hate my life
I hate the things I do sometimes
Things that make me feel guilty
and sometimes the guilt of the sins
are irreversible
somethings are done
and you can never take it back
you can forgive yourself
or pretend it never happened
but it truly never is
it never will be the same again
I just want to punish myself
for my stupidity
for my weakness
for giving in
I wish I never had feelings
I wish I could block it out
and have total control of myself

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Emotions, I sometimes wish i never had them so uncontrollable so destructible You're not here I try hard to let go You're burned in my memory I can never forget your smile your laugh the times spent together but all this I have kept to myself for I know you can never feel the same way about me For my feelings for you is not natural is not right in society is not accepted and for a fact that you are not like me a sinner by existence You can never feel the same way i do For you are normal and I am not I miss you so I feel so torn thinking about you I know we can never be I know it stupid to even dream I want to forget you but i can't I cherish the time we spent together even if i could never express myself and show you my real feelings because I didn't want to ruin the friendship we already have Your beautiful and strong I need you but I can never tell you Now that you're far away I feel more and more broken inside I wanna hold you and touch your face My heart screams...