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Hate it when it happens

I hate myself when I lose control of my feelings
and it takes over my rational thinking
which then makes me do things that I hate
and disgust me

I always end up being so disgusted with myself
for doing things I despise
I feel like a hypocrite

When it's done I just want to bleach myself
When I wake up the next day I just hope it was a nightmare

I can't even trust myself to control myself
I can't even trust myself to follow morals
and the rules I set for myself
I hate myself for it
I just want to erase it from my memory
and wished it never happened
Wish I could remove it completely out of my system
so it'll won't ever happen again

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