Shoot my Brains out

I've been meaning to write this done for a long time but I keep getting distracted.
I'm having problems concentrating. My attention span is short.
That really sucks when you are trying to focus on a lecture or assignment.
I really want to shoot my brains out.
I feel like I can't max it out to the full capacity.
For, I think more than a year now my struggles in writing work is getting worse
I feel like the only effort I am capable of is just shitty effort
I sometimes read other students work when we are doing a group assignment
I'm always amazed by what they can do.
I guess one problem is that my mind is always summarized, straight to the point
everything ends up way to short or not enough when on paper
Now I'm concerned that I'm making myself suffer by continuing on
Maybe I should just give up and start from scratch else where

A new beginning......

but I'm probably going to face the same problem
my brain's gears aren't grinding
I don't feel productive
I feel like other than my own random thoughts my brain is pretty blank
That's how I feel whenever we are given work and when I need to start doing something
It's just blank
Now I really seem like a really lazy student who really doesn't care about the subject
just handing crappy work to get minimal grades

Thank god guns are not so easily purchased here
because I can't stop fantasizing about blowing my brain