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Relapse

I always thought that when I was in college,
I would at least be happier than I was in school
or when I wasn't doing anything at all

3 months in college...
and I feel as depressed and suicidal
as I was when I was diagnosed
if not, worse
I was already slightly better towards the road to recovery
I was improving when I left school
and now I'm feel like I'm going back to
how I started out right at the beginning
of my diagnosis

I'm starting to see the less likeliness of a happier life
Seeing more unfairness in the world
Honestly, I don't think I'll get lucky
I think I'd be having to work till I bleed
to make ends meet and not having time to breathe
Isn't that how life is coming to nowadays?
I just wish my parents didn't have to go through all this

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